Saturday, January 31, 2009

-sigh- Hurry already!

So, here I am. Dressed up and ready to go with my mom to my Aunt's house. We're waiting for my mom's friend to come pick us up.


It's been nearly an hour and with repeated calls. It seems like every time I ask my mom where they are the answer's "near". This makes me wonder how far near really is. A mile? Two miles?

Anyway, by the time they came I was hungry and tried to pull off a catwalk down my sidewalk towards the car entrance. Okay not really, I just looked the epitome of cool, hopefully.

The driver of the car was my mom's friend's daughter. She was really pretty -masha'allah- and during the whole car ride I listened to all of them (including my mother) speaking in rapid arabic. I didn't understand a word of and pretended to text. (Why isn't she answering dammit!) By the time we got there, all of my hopes of going to my Aunt's Gym was dashed.
It was maghraib time.

"Would you like to lead the prayer?"
-flattered- "Me? Sure!"

But like I knew I would, I failed horribly.
Well, not really. I started to say suratal fatiha on the third rakat but remembered we had to stay silent, oops.

After that began a long string of food and laziness. Totally not compatible with wanting to 'exercise'.

There I was ladies, in the dining room. On my right was my dear mother and on my left was the friend and my aunt. In front of us was a huge bowl filled with enjera, salad and meat. -drool- food in general makes me drool. It was a strategy game. First one to finish the whole bowl wins. No siding with one another and each had her designated area of food. Okay so I have an active imagination, sue me. Anyway,digging through the large portion I discovered a large piece of meat.
I named it Bubba

Call me crazy

Then, while attacking the ginormous bowl, my mother brought up my wanting to go to the gym. It was 6pm and my mother thought it wasn't good to go out so late. I was a bit mad and was taking out all of my pseudo-anger on my section of the bowl. When I had looked down I was taken over by horror! I had minced Bubba up! -sniff- He was the best meat a girl could have.

He tasted good too.

Fast forward to later on after I took a walk with my little cousin, I arrived back and the friend (who by the way is a very good family friend, I've known her since I was a kid) had set up the hookah/sheesha. Now last time I was here, I chickened out and let my pseudo-cousin (cousin of a cousin) take a hit. And yes I know it's bad but I really wanted to. There I'd be, pimpin with my stunner shades on at night (yes, I'm that cool) taking sheesha hits with ladies who are old enough to be my mom. Heck, one is my mom! I've only done this once and that was when I was what, 11? It was when my dad's sister (Let's call her Auntie South) visited us for a month and she was a big hookah person. She carried it with her everywhere, and when my father was home, she'd bring it out. Only she'd be the only one doing it.My dad smokes, she hookahs hmmm does smoking run in the family? Anyway, my sister's brother (He'll be Uncle A) also stopped by for a visit and wanted to try it. Then calling me downstairs stuck it in my mouth and said "Try it!" My dad kinda protested but I was already hackin away. One puff is all it takes (cue Surgeon General warning and police sirens)

After that incident, I was hesitant for some time, but now I was just darn rebellious. I wanted to try new things and do insane stunts, -although begging to go to the gym and taking a hit of hookah isn't really rebellious -hey, you take what you can get. Then as I was psyching myself up, that tiny annoying little voice of reason popped up.
You know habibti, you shouldn't be doing this, it's haram
Oh shut up
This one puff can be the blot on your permenant record, do you want to be resurrected smoking on the sheesha?
Who said I was going to die?!
You nor I know whether that happens or not, but you have to answer Allah swt on the day of Judgment for harming your body
One hit is all it takes
-song in background-
"Bad Boys, Bad boys, watcha gonna do, watcha gonna do when I come for you, Bad boys, Bad boys...

GRRR FINE -stomps out of conversation-

I need to get out more.

BBUUTT like an inspiration from God, and a slap on the face for trying to do something haram, I spent the next two hours watching mindless television and eating sugary popcorn.

It. Was. Awesome.

Luckily, before when we were picking up my Auntie (Mom's cousin) from the old people home-she works there she isn't a y'know- an old personage- We called my Uncle and asked if he wanted to come he could take me to the gym. Now let me tell you how far it is from my Aunt's home to the Gym.
Approximately 50 steps. Yes, I said 50.
But you had to be over 18 to attend alone, and although I could totally pass for a college student, my Aunt (owner of the home not Auntie South nor Auntie Oldpersonhelper) and Mother wouldn't allow it. So after dancing in front of the mirror in the bathroom from pure boredom, my Uncle arrived.
Don't worry I had hijab on.

Then ensued the greatest 15 minute cardio workout ever! Picture in your mind, a hijabi wearing a lavendar pashmina scarf (torture!) a black long sleeve top, black sweats and on top of that a black zip up hoodie. She has an iPod attached to her ear and is trying to read the captions of the large tv in front of her. Let's wait till she falls.
But, I didn't! So ha to all you nay-sayers! Instead I sweated like a pig while I ran a mile and burned 150 calories. Bummer that you have to do so much to lose so little. After, I tried the cycle but my uncle got tired of Cnn, SNL and some asian drama playing on the separate screens. He then left me to walk back to the home by myself.
Boy, did I run my fastest. I basically beat my own sprinting record if someone formally timed it. But no one was there -frown-

After my cool down period, my Aunt told me to bring out one of her abayas. My face literally lit up. "ABAYAS?!"
"Yes, the gold one."
-spazzes even more-
And let me tell you the abaya was GORGEOUS! With gold trim and some sequins here and there, it would've been perfect on me hadn't there been the slight fact that my Aunt is shorter than me and the abaya didn't flow past my toes.
But I had fun either way, plus I get to keep one yay!

Now... you may be thinking, where art thou dear child?! Well I am still here and yes they're still smoking the sheesha, I told them it was bad for their health and as long as my mommy doesn't do it, it isn't my business anymore.

Time to get me an abaya,

hugs and kisses for reading this insane post,
Modest Justice

Thursday, January 29, 2009


I feel pretty pissed right now.
And remorseful.
Even though I haven't done a thing wrong

January 29th, 2009 3:30 pm (Yes I know it was today!)
I was in the locker room because I had decided that I was going to join Track and Field. Yeah I said it, track and field! While getting my sweats on and sticking my hijab through my long sleeves I felt the butterflies in my stomach and a mix of nervousness and excitement. Long awaited was this day, the day I would join a sport that I actually had a shot at -besides the fact that no one gets cut-. Now what was the event that I want to work on?
don't laugh


Aww yeah...

Skip to the track scene, people are stretching and chatting while I tug at my hot pink hijab and try to fit in. Luckily I have 'moral' support in the form of a long distance buddy but I knew I'd be by myself when we separate into groups. Soon the coaches come and I introduce myself and say I want to be in the Sprinting event.
"Are you gonna be here for the whole season?" Asks Coach iforgothisname
Thinking Pause

Now listen, this was a spur of the moment thing and I had not informed my parents besides a simple "hey mom can you pick me up at 5 instead? I'm trying out for a sport" and she said okay. I thought I was in the clear yo...But back to the flashback

I don't think I've ever enjoyed running like I do now. It's a challenge, and oddly enough I like challenges. When one pushes themselves to the limit, it feels great to over come that limit. With playing this sport, I can totally improve my mile time and get in shape. Win-Win deal baby! As for what we did, we ran a lap with the entire team, then broke off into groups concerning what we wanted to do. So me and my fellow sprinters and sprinterettes did warmups (windmills anyone?) and I now understand the meaning of butt cramps. I met some girls there that were really nice. I had a class with some of them and I basically spent the time talking to them. ONLY. Okay so I asked this one guy I knew what the hell we were doing next, but COME ON. When we finally finished at 6 pm (-gasp- I know) my dad called me. Turns out he shall be picking me up and today will be my first and last day for Track and Field.
Hold up, what?

Yes, today was my last day. Apparently my father did a background check (whatever that means) and found out guys are here. Well that's a great fact. I thought guys were all over the world. But here? In our little city? Blasphemy! So skip the car ride talk, I cannot do Track and Field. Stupid reason. But I just smiled and said "Okay Daddy :D"

And to you viewers, don't give me that "Respect your parents" crap, I already know that. No time to be preachy preachy dammit. -.-'


-Modest Justice

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Favorite things

Oh wow I've been tagged by Naz over at Naz and A'qilah's blog

If you've been tagged you have to add one more favorite thing to the list:
Favorite color: Well I'd have to say purple :] And don't you dare bring up that it's the national bisexual color, I PICKED IT FIRST!

Favorite perfume (guys): I don't know.. nothing my brother wears but I do like my Dad's cologne it's from France

5.Favorite perfume (girls): This one my cousin gave to me L'air du Temps by Nina Ricci I LOVE IT

Favorite pj brand: I don't have a set type of PJs I wear sweats to sleep

Favorite clothes brand in general: All clothes baby B)

Favorite person in the entire world: I don't have a favorite person but my parents? That's persons :]

Favorite country (not including your own): What makes a country perfect? Hmm, being practical I'd say UAE I want to visit there!

Favorite car: Silver Prius, it's so sexy! haha

Favorite sport: HAHA, it used to be Basketball but after I found out I sucked at it...

Favorite sport player: Despises physical activity sorry

Favorite spot in America: San Francisco, New York or San Jose -wink- I love the boring suburban feel of Silicon Valley

Favorite animal: KITTIES! I want a cat in Uni but I don't want to have fur all over my clothes or constantly vacuum.

Favorite movie: Um, TITANIC! see here

Favorite singer: No answer for that one, unless I feel like by self-centered, then I'd say myself ;D

Favorite day in the week: Friday! Everything good happens on Friday

Favorite time of the day: Evening, or when I'm just about to sleep. I adore sleep

Favorite holiday season: Summer because School's out and I can visit la plage! (the beach)

Favorite number: 25! It all started in 5th grade when I was # 25 and I happened to be the exact same number in 6th grade. I know that's a lame excuse but I still like it! If you ask me to choose a number between 1-100 I'll choose 25 no doubt.

Favorite food: I love food in general <3

Favorite chocolate: Milk chocolate :D

Favorite cartoon: The Misadventures of Flapjack, I love that kid -sniff-

Favorite blogger: If you said favorite type I'd say all Muslimah bloggers, I learn so much!

Favorite Flavor Ice Cream: Vanilla frozen yogurt all the way

Favorite Mobile Brand: Verizon and Att&t they have sexy phones :]

Fave name: Rayyan and Sabrina those are such cool names ;D

Favorite hobby: Reading! I'm a bookworm

I just started blogging again like a month ago, am I supposed to know everyone o_o
I can't tag Naz haha soooo I tag Halal Honey and Flifla I love her name :D

Afghans protest against U.S on Civilian death

MEHTAR LAM, Afghanistan (Reuters) – Thousands of Afghans protested against President Hamid Karzai and the United States on Sunday over reports of fresh civilian deaths caused by U.S.-led troops during a raid against Taliban militants.

The issue of civilian casualties is sensitive in Afghanistan and has eroded public support for Karzai's government and the foreign troops backing it.

It has also caused a rift between Karzai and his Western allies more than seven years after U.S.-led and Afghan forces overthrew the Taliban's government.

First off, why the hell is the U.S still in Afghanistan? Sure, pat on the back for overthrowing the Taliban but what else is there to do? Kill more people in the sake of Democracy? The operation causing the latest controversy happened this week in eastern Laghman province. The U.S. military said on Saturday that troops, backed by air support, had killed 15 militants in an overnight operation.

But in addition to killing the Taliban militants "16 civilians, many of them children and women, were killed" in the operation."

Well at least protests are being held and they're not staying quiet about it. But why is America in Afghanistan in the first place? Of course we'd say they're in the Middle East for the oil, greedy bastards. But even before 9/11, America wanted their share of the black gold. The only thing in their way was the 'regime' controlling the country. So when they did away with the Taliban the Afghanistan oil pipeline project was finally able to proceed in May 2002. This could not have happened if America had not taken military action to replace the government in Afghanistan.

The provincial governor tried to calm the demonstrators and invited them for talks with representatives of the U.S.-led troops. But some protesters threw stones at him and he stopped his speech.
If only we could do that in the U.S every time we didn't like what we hear...

That brings me to my next question, if the U.S really did invade for Oil and "Osama Bin Laden" why are they in Iraq now? They don't have Osama since he's originally from Saudi Arabia and why haven't they found him already? Are you seriously telling me with our highly advanced technologies we can't find one man?

Well this man put it bluntly "If the foreign troops do not put an end to their operations, we will launch jihad," said Malik Hazrat, a protest leader. Their views not mine

-Modest Justice

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Wikipedia: The love of my life

Asalamu Alaikum ladies,

For the past month or so I've been looking up things on Wikipedia. From the history of countries to politics and world religion, it's been looked up on Wikipedia. Although most people say you shouldn't trust everything you read on there, I fully trust it. After checking it up on Google of course. Now from controversies in the media to checking up facts on Islam, that's the place for my knowledge. I agree that it's very random to talk about my vast amount of facts all thanks to Wikipedia (and Yahoo), -just kidding-, but the site has grown and developed over the years to be a true "online encyclopedia"

I love you Wiki!

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Live from my house: Obama's Inauguration

Asalamu Alaikum,

+Coming straight from my couch, I am watching the "historical moment" as we speak.
OH MY GOD I THINK I SAW OBAMA! Haha, take in mind my little sister really wanted to stay home so, I guess I grabbed the chance and stayed home myself. I've never "live blogged" but for the past 40 minutes, I've been seeing past presidents walk through those doors and eager citizens flashing their cameras. Don't the first daughters look absolutely cute in their outfits? I think so :D

+But anyone in a different country watching this? CNN said it's being broadcasted around the world. Unless they're lying o:
+By the way, George Bush's latest approval rating was 22% for the last time.

-takes out tissue- Do you hear that? OMG I SEE OBAMA!
+But I shouldn't take this issue lightly, it shows America has come a long way subhan'allah. When the leader of the world becomes an African American it brings hope to minorities that yeah, they really can become president. When we're not bound by social or racial class, that's something. Oh and that lady speaking at the moment is the Senator of Cali hey hey :]

+Finally! After so many talking, Biden is being sworn in as Vice President. That's a huge Bible. (Did anyone hear about Keith Ellison and when he was sworn in with Jefferson's Koran?)
+Barack Obama just became president; the constitution states his term begins at noon even without oath (CNN said this)

+Well that's it ladies, Obama is now officially the 44th president of the United States, although he forgot some lines, it was eloquent nonetheless :D
+To the Muslims world: OH man he addressed the muslim world who are probably lying on their asses patting each other on a job well done since Israel took out their tanks. HYPOCRITES.
+Poem= Well that was rather long, but very meaningful

I'd also like to welcome Millz to my little ole' blog

Monday, January 19, 2009

True Teachings of Islam

Islam in its purest, monotheistic form. Untainted by Saints, Hadiths or transgression. Islam when Nabi Muhammad (saws)preached it in Mecca & Medina. That is the Islam I love and practice -insha'allah. As I'm learning more and more about Islam and the difference of opinions within it, I am starting to gradually make my own conclusions. Before, in the early days of hijab and my acceptance of Islam (Translation- When I finally practiced what the Imam preached), I would accept whatever any 'higher' being said. Music is haram? Okay then. Guys had a right over girls? Sure. But as gullible as I was, I finally started looking these 'things' up and seeing if what people told me were actually true. [[Website that I am currently addicted to: it is very in-depth and provides much of the basis of my arguments]]

I remember a discussion with my father once, when he said no country could be ruled under Sharia law. When I asked why, he said no one could ever follow through with the punishments. Such as stoning an adulterer or adulteress. But I told him that wasn't true, because in the Qur'an you must give them 80 lashes and they have to repent. Apparently, due to a hadith, you had to stone the fornicator. Now back then, I would have accepted it, but as I learned more, Allah swt is never wrong. He would never say one thing in the Qur'an only to have the Prophet (saw) or Sahabah say something completely different. Some say that you must stone the married fornicator but lash the unmarried one. SAME THING. Wouldn't a married fornicator then be known as an adulterer? Now I know there is that very mysterious verse called the Verse of the Rajm
Narrated Ibn ‘Abbas:

Umar said, “I am afraid that after a long time has passed, people may say, “We do not find the Verses of the Rajam (stoning to death) in the Holy Book,” and consequently they may go astray by leaving an obligation that Allah has revealed. Lo! I confirm that the penalty of Rajam be inflicted on him who commits illegal sexual intercourse, if he is already married and the crime is proved by witnesses or pregnancy or confession.” Sufyan added, “I have memorized this narration in this way.” ‘Umar added, “Surely Allah’s Apostle carried out the penalty of Rajam, and so did we after him.” [2]


“When the verses “Rajm” [Stoning] and ayah “Rezah Kabir” descended, they were written on a piece of paper and kept under my pillow. Following the demise of Prophet Muhammad (S) a goat ate the piece of paper while we were mourning.”

The other verse “Rezah Kabir” being the same verse that purportedly has the whole "suckling an adult" verse. How perverse, disturbing, and the real reason it was abrogated by divine intervention (Coincidence a goat came and ate it? I think not.)
But this forgotten hadith would contradict ayat in the Qur'an that reads:24.02 The woman and the man guilty of adultery or fornication,- flog each of them with a hundred stripes: Let not compassion move you in their case, in a matter prescribed by Allah, if ye believe in Allah and the Last Day: and let a party of the Believers witness their punishment.

Further proof is that adultery is a serious crime and a judge cannot simply punish the person,unless four witnesses provide proof against him/her.And even if proved guilty, the punishment is to confine them to houses.
[4:15] If any of your women are guilty of lewdness, Take the evidence of four (Reliable) witnesses from amongst you against them; and if they testify, confine them to houses until death do claim them, or Allah ordain for them some (other) way.

Another issue was for stealing. My father would never want to cut my hands off for stealing those sunglasses from the Mall. (Never happened by the way, I paid the full 12 dollars!) The evidence of this is from Surah 5 ayat 38:

[5:38] The thief, male or female, you shall mark their hands* as a punishment for their crime, and to serve as an example from GOD. GOD is Almighty, Most Wise.

Note where it's starred? It shows that this practice of cutting off the thief's hand, as decreed by the "Muslims", is a satanic practice without Qur'anic basis. Due to the special importance of this example, God has provided mathematical proof in support of marking the hand of the thief, rather than severing it. Verse 12:31

[12:31] When she heard of their gossip, she invited them, prepared for them a comfortable place, and gave each of them a knife. She then said to him, "Enter their room." When they saw him, they so admired him, that they cut their hands. They said, "Glory be to GOD, this is not a human being; this is an honorable angel."

It refers to the women who so admired Joseph that they "cut" their hands. Obviously, they did not "cut off" their hands; nobody can. The sum of the sura and verse numbers are the same for 5:38 and 12:31. It is also the will and mercy of God that this mathematical relationship conforms with the Qur'an's 19-based code. Nineteen verses after 12:31, we see the same word (12:50). (Now for the whole number 19 in the Qur'an, it is explained here, although I'd love to say it's a coincidence and these scholars have way too much time.) So there, hopefully I've debunked that one.

Oh, and all of these "fatwas" the so-called "Mullahs" keep making calling for the deaths of all apostates is ridiculous. It isn't even properly supported in the Qur'an. What happened to no compulsion in the religion?

-If all religions approve of execution for apostasy, it will be difficult not only for Muslims to embrace another religion but also for non-Muslims to embrace Islam.
-It is contradictory to say on one hand "There is no compulsion in religion (Qur'an [Qur'an 2:256])" and "Whosoever will, let him believe and whosoever will, let him disbelieve ([Qur'an 18:29])", and on the other to threaten to punish by death who renounces Islam and moves to reject Islam.

Taken from my good friend Wikipedia. And IT'S TRUE. God does not contradict Himself astagfurillah!

So due to this whole list of justifications, Sharia law can be used in any Islamic country but the leaders should not be hypocrites nor pick and choose whichever facts they please. But I've also had a real eye opener while researching and discussing this with my dad. I'll never again trust hadiths with the same blinding support I once did. I'll take every fatwa with doubt and unsure of it's authenticity until I can see for myself that it complies with all the is in the Qur'an. May Allah guide me onto the right path and forgive me for my errors.

"Surely there are many who forge lie against me, and their number is sure to increase; whoever intentionally tells a lie against me should prepare his abode in the Fire. Therefore, whenever a hadith is narrated to you, put it (for testing) before the Book of Allah and my (established) sunnah, and whatever conforms with the Book of Allah, take it; and what goes against the Book of Allah and my sunnah, reject it."

Nabi Muhammad (saws)

-Modest Justice

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Sunday School Memories

Ahh, Sunday School.
After reading a blog post on the abuse of children in madrasas, it brought back fond memories of my Sunday school, ironically. I remember in kindergarten when my uncle brought a copy of the arabic alphabet and we went over the book. I proudly said my "Alif, Baa, Taas" and was rewarded by being praised for my intellect. I always had a dream to attend an Islamic school and held onto it until I was in second grade. My earliest recollection of any form of Islamic learning was this nice Jordanian lady who taught us arabic rather than the Qur'an. For 15 bucks each, my older brother and I learned arabic, prayed at noon and ate free food. It was a nice deal. Then, our lessons stopped after tragic news came. Her husband back in Jordan was killed so she went back to the country. I remember a photo of him but forgot both of their names. I should ask my aunt next time I see her. My next memory was the community sunday school held in my neighborhood. There I memorized half of Jus Amma. We had two field trips in that 2 year stay. One was at a multi-cultural festival where I met this muslim lady who helped me make a candle and the other was my first time at Great America. Sadly, that Sunday School was closed after a robbery occurred at the facility that hosted our school. Naturally, the blame fell upon us muslims and I'm still bitter towards that place to this day.

In between our stay at that school, my brother and younger sister attended another school on Saturdays. It was held in my father's work building. For my exceptional skill (-cough cough-), I was put into the boys' group and learned the alphabet again and how to start to read and write in arabic. (But since the Jordanian lady stopped teaching us the basics of arabic, I knew nothing of what was being written or read.) A couple of months later, the teachers had switched me back to the girls' group. They were far behind the boys' and were much older than me. I wondered why I was put back in such a slow-moving group but resigned myself to learn the alphabet over again and stare at the older members of the group with interest. Talking about these experiences with my older brother now, I realize I was put back into that group because I was girl and maybe they felt that even if I was progressing so much, they let my gender hinder my progress. Fast forward a couple of years later and a couple of years not attending, we started ANOTHER community sunday school and I was thrilled to see kids my age and make friends. During snack time, the girls would go to the bathroom but really we held expeditions that explored the rest of the building. We plundered offices, looted candy and told stories about our adventures in the "dark side". -Yea, it was seriously called that- Although we were reprimanded if a teacher caught us, we were never hit or punished like the guys. Boy did we abuse that right. I remember one teacher who would teach us our language, and we gave him the worst time of his life. It's no wonder why he quit, those kids were ruthless. But besides Qur'an we studied the Seerah and I learned how to pray from the first sunday school I ever attended. We got spiffy text books which I still have and dust frequently! At those opportune moments when the teacher went to get the snack from his car, I'd be appointed to watch after the kids and I relished the power. I formed a secret society (Unfortunately called the 'Teletubby Club' one girl suggested it and the rest agreed D:), had battles with other girls, had crushes on the guys we were separated from -don't ask- and formed lasting friendships with some really cool muslimahs.
During the last few years of that sunday school, I could see my progress was far from perfect. I hadn't even completed Jus Amma! The switching of schools held me back from my potential and I could the zero effort I put in learning the Qur'an. When the school switched to a new location, we went along with it. But halfway through the new year, we stopped going. I couldn't handle being one of the oldest ones there and halfway behind the guys. The teachers barely knew what they were teaching and the loud environment can make anyone not able to work. Kids ran around everywhere, girls as well as boys were defiant to teachers, and eating the same snack everyday made me feel as if it were some horrible daycare nightmare.

Current situation: Spends Sundays at home, tries to memorize a new surah for prayer and insha'allah will afford to take arabic classes in the near future. Meaning sometime this year. Maybe my uncle can chip in and pay for his favorite niece :D

May Allah swt lead us all on the right path and forgive me for my errors and not taking my Qur'anic studies seriously.
Amin to that!

Modest Justice

Book Review: Stolen Innocence

Pretty random for me to do a Book Review right? Yes, I read! I love to read, one can usually find me immersed in some paperback in the dining room or on the couch. Heck, as a kid, I'd sit on the dining room table reading because there was more light in that area of the house. (Although I had to move when my mother began making dinner, curse that cutting board)

Anyway, my younger sister had been reading this book so when she finished she highly recommended it for me.So I've been reading (Still haven't finished it but I know how it ends!) 'Stolen Innocence' and it's "My Story of Growing Up in a Polygamous Sect, Becoming a Teenage Bride, and Breaking Free of Warren Jeffs" Exact words on the front cover. The author is Elissa Wall and it depicts her journey growing up in a house with 3 moms, 24 children and seeing most of her older siblings defying the FLDS (Fundamentalist Church of Latter Day Saints) laws. I don't want to spoil the book for those who do wish to read it, but I enjoyed reading (and still reading) the book and seeing into a polygamous household. Of course, it is much different from the Islamic view of Polygny seeing as how men are limited to 4 rather than being 'limitless'. Warren Jeffs is a perverted monster and- well I'll let you read it yourself. It actually reaffirmed my faith that Islam is the one true religion because it doesn't show prejudice towards other people of different colors and faiths. All I could think of were Warren's words from Alta Academy that nonwhite people were the most evil of outsiders. His racist remarks and hate-filled bigotry were a routine part of the classroom experience at Alta Academy, and from them, I had developed a prejudice about anyone whose skin looked different from my own... An excerpt taken from the book. Seeing as how they didn't allow any other race to be part of the religion, how can it be the "one true faith"? Although some pages of the book is not appropriate for children (who would read this as a bedtime story in the first place), it's a good read.

In Conclusion, I highly recommend this book to those who love to read autobiographies;although it sheds a negative light on FLDS Polygny, I'm sure polgyny by Islamic standards is much different.


Saturday, January 17, 2009

'Titanic' -Reminiscing

"My Heart will go on"
Ahh yes, the theme song of every teen out there during the year of 1997 when the 'Titanic' came out. The tragedy of the actual boat was nothing compared to the tragedy of the lovers.
Or mine.

-sigh- That fateful evening when I was 11 and I had just finished watching the 'Titanic' yet again :D My older brother came into the living room and just stared at my singing the song.

"You know that movie isn't real right?"

I stare at him, "Yes it is."

He stares back, "Nuh-uh" He was 13 at the time and thought he knew everything, jerk.


"I'm not lying!"

"PROVE IT!" I went over to the computer and google-ed (Haha it wasn't THAT long ago) it. When I saw that it really wasn't true, something in me broke.

Yes, I was those damned fangirls, the ones who thought Rose and Leo would live together for eevvveeeeerrrr (Which wasn't the case obviously). Or just wanted the pretty boy for herself.

But it was all just a marketing trick to get sappy old ladies, middle-aged ladies, women in general, to pay and watch a 2 hour film that will leave you in tears. -sniff- My fairy tale romance was ruined. That and the advent of the "Google" and "Wikipedia" where I learned Romeo and Juliet really do die at the end, unicorns weren't real and no I don't go to heaven directly after I die.

Life is such a downer.

'No Communities'

France on alert for Gaza hate messages

PARIS: French authorities will increase their checks on television, radio and the Internet to prevent any hate messages prompted by the conflict in Gaza from spreading, Prime Minister Francois Fillon has said.
France has seen an increase in primarily anti-Semitic acts apparently related to Israel’s offensive in the Gaza Strip.
“Even a cursory look at the Internet is enough to find blogs ... carrying messages of incredible violence, whether against Israel or against the Palestinians,” Fillon said after a meeting with ministers on fighting racism and anti-Semitism.
He said he had asked the CSA, the broadcast authority, and an expert on issues of freedom of expression on the Internet to conduct more thorough checks on what was being published.
Fillon also said the courts were primed to take vigorous action against any perpetrators of hate crimes related to Gaza.
France has the biggest Muslim and Jewish communities in Europe.
“We’re not in Israel, we’re not in Palestine, we’re in France. And in France there are no communities because we’re all citizens equal before the law,” Fillon said. – Reuters

"...there are no communities because we’re all citizens equal before the law,”

What? So now, you've stripped your citizens of their culture? Of who they are and their right to come together as a community? France, you never cease to amuse me. With your bans and your intolerance I think you should be checking your own gov't for hate crimes. You're supposed to have Freedom of Religion and Freedom from Religion. How dare you deny people to practice their beliefs outside their house. Sometimes France makes America look better. Ironically, I'm learning french in school, but besides that the world leadership is full of hypocrisy.

Yeah, I said it. The UN sucks. World Leaders in general can kiss my- Hijab! Them and their double standards, I can't believe any of them anymore. How can you put a muslim website on the "Watch List" but let websites like '' and '' keep spewing their libel! It angers me when people get their facts wrong and the media backs them up. Heads up morons, You can't call an arab anti-semitic because THEY'RE SEMITES TOO.

Okay I should calm down. But I can't help feeling powerless and I can't do anything to stop these people. It's bringing down the Ummah, and how sad that a tragedy has to bring us together. How many more children must die before the 'Muslims Countries' get their acts together or for Obama to see that America has to stop funding the guns for Israel? Another thing about Obama, I remember wearing a t-shirt on the day of the election filled with hope after the horrendous 8 years. But I sure got a smack in the face from reality (all thanks due to Allah swt) when I saw that he's not going to help muslims. It isn't even in his power to take stand now is it? What good would it do when our country is in the middle of an economic collapse for him to "condemn". That's all he can do when half of America's youth is fighting a pointless worth in Iraq.

But it's sad to see the American people believing everything the Government spoon feeds them.



Friday, January 16, 2009

Where will I be in a decade?

Sometimes, I reflect on my life, where I've been and how far I'm going to go.
Yes, even I have things to reflect on and things to look forward to. But the fuzzy part is my career. Where do I find my self a couple years from now? In University of course. Then? Medical School. Then? Uhhh, residency/marriage? THEN? Children :D SERIOUSLY?
... yes
Or so I thought. But when I think of it every now and then, I wonder if I really do want to be a Pediatrician. Devote myself to a 9-5 hour job which has a great pay and I'll always get a job anywhere around the world. Half of me wants that life, then the other half wants to lounge around at home or go shopping or do numerous housewife things and just let my husband work. I know this seems WAY in the future, but there must be sometime to think of it right? Yes, what happens if me and my husband both have to work? That's where my PH.D in awesomeness comes in but insha'allah maybe I won't have to do that. I'm pretty sure I'll become a Pediatrician but other than, I have no idea what else I shall be doing.

For some reason, planning one's life out seems like such a girl thing to do. We always over analyze things and looking back at this post I see I've done just the same :)Everything is in Allah swt's hands and insha'allah I wish only for the best

Cheers to life,

Brain Freeze

There is absolutely nothing to do, nothing to write about and nothing to say! I am empty... I also place all blame on studying for finals this week.

I am tapped out of any ideas._.


Time for a story!
-falls asleep-

Once upon a time, there was a girl named Sana. She loved to find the truth and searched for it everywhere. Climbing the tallest trees, she'd hide between the branches and spy on her parents and their friends. Sana knew it was bad to eavesdrop, but as she saw her parents talk and joke with the neighbors next door, she couldn't help but think that the grown up world was glamorous. Her mother would dress up in lavish accessories and attend a myriad of weddings with her father. But often, they'd leave Sana with the neighbor's daughter to watch after her. Sana despised being looked after, and the neighbor's daughter was no exception. Her name was Elham and she was bossier than ever. With one flick of her hair, she'd have Sana pinned down and order her to shut up and watch T.V. Elham would then lock the front door and go off her friends. Sana knew her friends were usually guys but never told her parents. If there was one thing Sana never did, it was telling on others. Like her policy to always seek the truth, Sana kept others' flaws hidden. Including her own. The neighbor's also had a boy about Sana's age, Anwar. Anwar would sometimes watch T.V with Sana and would guard the house while Elham was away. With Elham away, Sana would then explore the house, searching every nook and cranny for something exciting. One evening as her parents went to attend some seminar, she went upstairs and began to look into the rooms. Elham's room always had pop posters on the walls while Anwar's was filled with video games. But the one room Sana could never access was the parent's room. She tried everything to open the door, which resulted in the breaking of several bobby pins and hair clips. As she looked down over the railing onto Anwar watching the T.V, she could see the house keys on the coffee table. A plan hatched in Sana's head and as she slide down the banister to towards the living room, the door rang. Anwar got up to answer it and left Sana along with the keys. With a quick snap of her hand, Sana acquired the keys and ran back up the steps. Her heart was pounding at the thought of opening the door and finding out what lay behind this expanse of wall. But as she inserted the key into the lock, she heard footsteps pound up the stairs. Startled, Sana dove for the hallway closet, leaving it open an inch. Elham had entered the hallway and was pulling a black-clad figure into a room. Given the awkward positioning of her head, Sana couldn't tell which direction Elham had went. A door slammed, and when the hallway became silent again, Sana carefully emerged from the closet. Looking at both ends of the hall, she slipped back towards the door and inserted the key. Giving it a twist, Sana opened the door and stepped inside.

Oh no, a cliffhanger!

Okay story time is over, you'll find out more next time I have totally nothing to talk about.

<3S- I mean, Modest Justice :D

Thursday, January 15, 2009

In the Moment

I wish I could say I was more in the moment.
Spontaneous and wild ya'know? When you get invited to mall trips, "I'M IN!" or when asked to ditch P.e "I'M ALL OVER THAT YO!"


Unfortunately, I being the good muslim girl that I am, opt to ask my parents for permission and decline so that I won't miss any points. -smile- But why not cause some mischief? Have some fun and live life! Besides the fear of getting in trouble with the law (Like my friends are even THAT wild), I know Allah swt always watches me. So if I do something wrong I'll have to explain my reasons to Him.

However, I also have to point out, that ditching P.E when you have an A isn't even that bad. It's worse to not dress out and lose 5 points, than to cut and lose 2. Then there is the whole 'mall' issue. What do you expect me to do? Take off my hijab and gallivant around with the "evil" boys in the world? I wish. NOT. The only wandering I do is to look for a nice restaurant in the food court. Or try to figure out what movie to watch. (Hmm, Bride Wars or My Bloody Valentine? -sigh- the choices)
Now that could lead to a whole 'nother post on trust, but I'm not discussing that at the moment. It isn't hard to live life in the moment, morally.

Now you must thinking, "This is what bothers her? SHUT UP! Atleast you can choose whether you want to live or not, people are DYING!" ... ._.; I do care about the muslims out there around the world. It's my Ummah too. And for that matter, everything going around the world at the moment. I just decided to bring in some levity to this discussion -points to blog title- It is about my mind you know.

So in my handy-dandy nerdy $3 dollar Wal-mart planner, I'll schedule a trip to the mall tomorrow and ditch P.E next Thursday. Exciting right?

Monday, January 12, 2009

Fresh Idea for Gaza

Seeing as how I'm part of my masjid's sister e-mailing list, I got this on one of the e-mails and I had to share it with you all:

"Asalaamu Alaikoum Sisters,
I just had another idea for Gaza. Sisters, please take this idea very seriously. I don't know who else to communicate it to yet... but I may make a video on youtube about it. We need to ORGANIZE and call for a WORLD WIDE strike! It would be our Strike Back!? This is a non-violent peaceful way to land a blow directly into the US and Israeli corporations which fund the killing! I am just thinking that we would organize ALL Muslims World Wide via an official Islamic decree from our scholars and All other people who stand with Palestine in Solidarity. This is simple we choose one day to unite and NOT go to work! We could all just go to the streets in a massive peaceful protest that day. This would draw major media and political attention. If the killing doesn't stop and our One day strike is successful ~ we can then go for a week etc. until it stops! People strike for raises, money,contracts, etc. We need to form our own Union and strike back!? Inshallah I hope my idea makes some sense. Please pass it on to anyone who can take any action! Please sisters email or contact someone tonight if they have any connections to Islamic scholars in your home country. This could work InshAllah!
Jazaakum Allah Khair,

Next E-mail
Asalaamu Alaikoum Sisters
I am sorry to be flooding your inbox with too many emails. Thank you to the people who have responded to my initial thoughts. I just wanted to let you all know that I just created a group to spread the word and it would be great if you could join the group and invite your friends World Wide. Please email all of your contacts to alert them to this project and ask for help. Anyone willing to work on this project can go right ahead and start.
The official email is:

I'suggest the following initial actions:

1)Invite all of your friends to join the Facebook group
2)Email the info and all updates to everyone in your contact list
3)Contact any Islamic scholar or Imam you know and ask them to support the effort and announce it at Jummuah
4)Work to Obtain a religious decree from our scholars making participation a religious obligation on all Muslims like the boycotting of Israeli supporting companies
5)Someone Please volunteer to build a website or add this info to your website to inform the populations of the world
6)Make Youtube videos with the details and updates about this Event and post the videos in MULTIPLE video service websites (Youtube will censor this movement)
7)Make videos in Multiple languages in order to reach the entire UMMAH and unite us
8)Act quickly and become highly organized! The killing will probably continue for another month, but we should try to arrange this strike day before then.
9)We can all spare 1 day of work
10)Women and children FIRST ~ everyone participates in the strike and the protest!



So this made me think for a while, and although a day away from school is great, it could also show how unified Islam really is.
If we are.
Therefore, I shall do my part by informing everyone around me and insha'allah I'll e-mail her and ask if there's anyway a highschool-er can help :]

May Allah swt answer our prayers and lead us all on the right path. May the oppressed be free and insha'allah may the Ummah be united as one.

-Modest Justice

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Free Free Palestine!


I was so grateful that I could attend the protest that had happened today. I woke up at 8, an ungodly hour for me, showered and dressed by 10:30 when we would leave in an hour!

I was so pumped when we were headed there and saw the huge crowd of protesters. The energy was so amazing and as someone handed us signs to wave, I nearly lost my voice screaming for peace and freedom. We marched through the shopping complex, up and down streets, passing out flyers. I think 2,000 people rallied today and masha'allah you could hear our voices echo on the buildings!
Things we chanted were:
"Free, Free Palestine!"
"From the river to the sea, Palestine will be free!"
"While your shopping bombs are dropping!"
"Hey hey, ho ho, the Occupations gotta go!"
Marching around and in the area, we cheered and shouted. The heat blazed on our foreheads while the colors of red, black, white and green reflected on the windows. I'm pretty sure people heard us loud and clear. I bought a shemagh on Friday and couldn't wait to put together an ensemble sure to look Protest-friendly haha. But $15 bucks?! Talk about capitalizing!

After the protest, and a brief relative visit, we went back around to honk and show our 'support' and were astonished to see an Israeli flag in the middle of the street with cars running over it -on accident since a bus did it-. Seeing numerous po pos (police) we could only guess some disagreement broke out and yes, there were counter protests. I saw the flag and couldn't believe they had the nerve! But as the first amendment states, if it's peaceful, it's legal. Although I was still ticked that they could support the killing of innocents.

But besides that damper in my day, the protest gave me an outlet to exercise my rights and show support for the UMMAH! You know, this activism thing could be my niche. And not just for Palestine, all around the world. From Somalia to Sri Lanka to Sacramento. If people's right are being violated and abused, here comes Modest Justice to the rescue! Beware of paper cuts from her signs and warning of deafness form her screams! Haha, it just might work out.

Pumped up Modest Justice

Saturday, January 10, 2009


Before becoming a serious muslimah and hijabi, there have always been influences in my life as there are in others'. You know, that relative(s) in hijab who wore it dutifully and completed all 5 prayers. The one you hid your gum from at the masjid during Ramadan. The one you'd dress up in long sleeves for and make salat with.

It was fun while it lasted.

But there was always that friend or neighbor who also adopted hijab and in my case, a whole neighborhood full. You'd watch them silently, following their every movement and asking them all the time for advice on any 'muslim-related' incident. While you struggled to stay awake at Sunday School, you assumed they breezed through the Qur'an and knew what to say when during prayers. It wasn't envy, but they were your role models. Their facades kept you questioning your own acts and deeds. But what happens when that shatters? You're left with a plate of lies and having to form your own ideas on how to wear hijab, how to pray & how to act. Which we should all be doing when we come 'of age'.
Also a pet peeve of mine is part-time hijabers. Now nobody was perfect when they started wearing hijab, nobody. Even I bent the rules a few times and I own up to it. It was bad and it's in the past, alhamdulillah. But the hijabis who do know better and commit indecent acts while in the hijab renders the hijab worthless. Hijab is not just a piece of cloth. It's a mindset. While in the first couple of years, a hijabi has to update her whole wardrobe, cherry pick her friends, limit activity with male colleagues, so on and so forth. It can be overwhelming and I understand that. Nobody's perfect (Hannah Montana totally copped that off of me)and insha'allah that shouldn't stop any hijabi to become a better person. But I feel like such a sissy when I don't have the guts to tell hijabi doing something wrong that it's wrong. Insha'allah I ask for courage and you know what, maybe I will. Yeah they'll be mad for a while, but atleast you did something right and insha'allah they learned something new. There's always room for improvement sisters :]

But back to the main topic, once you find out your hero isn't so innocent, you start doubting everything you've ever believed in. Which is why it's better to choose your 'idols' carefully because not everything is how it seems to be. I hope I can be a better role model for my sister and as a muslimah but everyone stumbles. Only Allah swt can forgive us and lead us on the right path.

My Islamic resolution:
Cut the Bull crap and be assertive when I need to be
Help sisters in need
Fight for the cause of Islam and those who are oppressed
Fight for myself :]

All praise is due to Allah swt and all fault is mine

Modest Justice

Greetings to my personal life

So now I'm aware that people in my life have access to my blog and I don't try to hide who or what I speak about so I'd like to say "Hi, yeah this is my blog and no it isn't like a diary -shudder- and it kind of feels weird to discuss things now that I know you know what I know...
If that even makes sense.
So I guess I'll keep my blurbs but it'll be general
No one will know you- Just kidding

From the frazzled brain of
Modest Justice

Tuesday, January 6, 2009


So surprise, surprise.
Highschoolers apparently do not know anything about the world apart from their self-absorbed lives. It bring me to tears just knowing that while we are losing our voices to make up for those whose voices are oppressed, most of the teenagers are just living life not caring about anything happening halfway across the globe. This apathy is sickening, and the conditioning we have all gotten throughout our lives because of the way the media has portrayed the devastation of the world only angers me.
"Oh, another tsunami? I hope those poor dears are alright, -switches channel-"
"Not this again! When will these silly terrorists know bombing isn't the way? What's on MTV?"
Where do these kids get their ignorance from? I'm well aware the teachers know and most other adults, but these are high schoolers! A few years from being thrust unto the real world and they can barely grasp the concept of current events. Now I'm not bashing my peers, okay in a way I'm ranting, but indifference is a horrible state. Haven't many genocides and humanitarian crises been muffled because other countries were UNAWARE or indifferent to the sufferings of another. A'outhobillah, but I will not stand for it. I've changed my attitude and opinions slowly this past month and now that I see all the corruption in this world, I refuse to sit quietly like everyone else and accept everything for what it is.

"Whosoever of you sees an wrong action, let him change it with his hand; and if he is not able to do so, then with his tongue; and if he is not able to do so, then with his heart – and that is the weakest of faith." Hadith in al-Bukhari

Insh'allah the MSAs of every high school will try to raise awareness and bring some change to the poor condition of our hearts. My school's MSA will insh'allah try
to raise awareness and attend protests. Alhamdulillah, I may have missed the protest this Sunday but there is another this weekend. But I also know that by protesting, we may just be annoying the ole' US because we all know how they stand on this issue. I should make a sign that says "GET OFF YOUR BUTTS MUSLIM COUNTRIES, THIS THE UMMAH THAT IS SUFFERING!" Heck, I think I should, it seems fitting for the occasion. Donations should be made not just opinions or well-thought out sentences. Also boycotting McDonalds and Starbucks really won't help but it's still good to avoid them for your health!

YA ALLAH! May we all see the errors of our selfish ways and insh'allah may the people of Palestine and our fellow muslim brothers and sisters around the world be relieved from oppression so that we can be united as one.

Friday, January 2, 2009

Abaya for a day

Asalamu Alaikum!

Today, as I went to Jummah prayers, I wore an abaya ^_^ Then that turned into me wearing it the whole day. To the grocery store, to the bank, to the laundry room >.>
Although my abaya was this button up one and it unbuttoned very easily, it was so roomy and comfortable! Now that I'm still wearing it, too lazy to change, I liked the design on mine. The hijab was kind of sheer so I had to double wrap.

Funny thing is, I had rushed and decided to just wear an abaya. Very convenient :D

OOh and there's a protest around my area on Sunday for Palestine. I need to go to this one! Insha'allah

Modest Justice

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Google AdSense

Asalamu Alaikum!

Okay so I signed up for AdSense one day because, like all things google, I wanted one.
So now that I have a blog I decided to put it in, but I'm afraid of any content that is unislamic or anti-anything we believe in! So I'd like every and anyone to point out to me if any of the ads has some content that isn't well, appropriate. I'll then remove it and tell myself to stop being greedy!

Jazak'allah Khair :D

-Modest Justice

Oh and I cannot encourage clicks :'D

Dawah at the Buffet: Conclusion

Gosh, I'm an idiot.

As I repeated my proud moment at the buffet to my friends last night,they pointed out the part were he asked if I was a [insertcityhere] native. What if had asked me that because he didn't want to offend me by asking "What country did you immigrate from"
THE NERVE! I'm actually angered right now. Well, slightly. And now that I think of it, maybe he was astounded that a hijabi could speak fluent english and WAS BORN in AMERICA!

This reminded me of a similar incident over the summer. I had been working at City Hall as an intern when my father picked me up to get my fingerprints done. Standard protocol, I wasn't in trouble >.> As we entered the Sheriff Dept. as rather large lady stared at me and when my Dad said what we were there for she asked if I spoke english. WHAT! I answered her and really wanted to glare darn it. But no, I answered her nicely and we went through the stupid procedure.

Sometimes, I really am blind to the assumptions people make before I even speak. I guess I have selective memory. Yet I still feel like a fool and if anyone at my school even makes a comment towards me I will seriously slap them.

I need to start standing up for myself ...

-Modest Justice

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