Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Am I the only one...

Who thinks that high heels look like walking death traps?

I mean seriously... I can't STAND heels
Even if I am 5"8 and have no use of them, I don't know why we subject ourselves to them.

And I'm not going to be using hadiths or even going at it through a religious angle (although some could)

My honest opinion :P I mean, don't we know the damage it does to our legs?
But I'm not going to lie. I have a pair in my closet at the moment waiting to be worn for an event next week.

And I'm not anticipating it at all.

Speaking of death traps...

may I present,
the modern corset?

I really don't understand why we, as women, put ourselves through this. It doesn't matter if it's 'cute' or 'no pain no gain' wtf? I won't sacrifice my right to breath correctly and correct posture for the sake of fashion!

Although I think these are stupid, eh, to each her own.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

January 21, 2010

Do you sometimes wish that you could apologize to the people you've hurt in the past?

Or apologize for your own behavior?

Without looking like a jerk?

Or are you frightened that it would only bring up old wounds and memories that should be best left forgotten?

That with your new persona and appearance, it is unnecessary to ask for such forgiveness because you are - as you claim and as they believe-,

a 'Whole New You'?

But somewhere, deep inside, you feel a tug, a nagging, of that regret

a glimmer of remorse,

whenever you hear news pertaining to that past

that person,

And it takes all of the strength within you to calm down those rush of emotions

To not bring up that anger or hurt, jealousy or spite

So you click the 'X' mark on that page and turn around

Wiping away all thoughts

And beginning again.

Friday, January 15, 2010

Today was a good day

(This post is from January 15th, 2009)

I'm back!

from the graveeeee!


Today was the day of my LAST final!


And because I only had one final, I got out 2 hrs later at 10 am :D

I arrived home around 10:30 and was mesmerized by the television for an hour (Big Mama 2 was on :P)

When my Dad came home I had to get ready for an award ceremony.

I hadn't mentioned it at all on this blog, -no idea why, must've slipped my mind-, but I had won 1st place at my school for a MLK Jr Contest.

There were three types of entries; Writing, Art and Multimedia.

It all had to incorporate or be about, this quote from MLK:

"The moral arc of the universe is long, but it bends towards justice."

Honestly, this was extra credit for my English class (15 pts!) so I spent only an hour writing the essay, the night before it was due.

A month later I got a call saying I had won first place. -le gasp-

That was pretty amazing, and I'm glad I won (however, the person who won District for writing - I won 1st only at my school- wrote a MUCH better piece)

I spent last night, thursday, preparing for what to wear.
(Thanks so much to Aifa from aifasuitcase , she did a request on looklet for me.. yes I actually stressed on what I was going to wear in-between studying :P... I went with the first looklet outfit but instead of a black dress it was grey!)

Oh and something that you should always keep handy?

Lint Remover.

You'll never know how much you need it until it's the last minute and there's fuzzy stuff all over your black slacks.

Dang it.

We arrived at 1:00pm, it was the exhibition of the first place essays and art. I found mine and was extremely excited.

(If you're wondering where the rest of my family was, keep in mind it was a friday afternoon, my siblings were all at school and my mom at work. My dad took the day off :D)

Unfortunately, the heels -wedges?- I bought were a 9w (w apparently stands for wide -.-) and they were open-toed so I had to cling to the front of the shoes with my silver lacquered toes, making my heels dangerously close to popping out of the shoe.

-sigh- I'm going to have to return those later.

I was so nervous of tripping out my shoes when we had to cross the stage, but thankfully I only ended up looking like a hunchback, shuffling my feet across the stage and shaking hands with the Coordinators or something.

But this wasn't even the beginning of my day.

As another gift for our 'exemplary work', me and the other recipients got 3 tickets each for tonight's Harlem Globetrotter's game.

Although I have 6 other people in my family (that includes myself), it would be enough for my older brother, younger sister and Dad to go. (My mom doesn't mind, and my younger brother gets the Xbox 360 to himself)

What about me you ask?

Well ya see, this program that I'm part of where I live (Digital Connectors, volunteering in the community and 'bridging the gap between technology and people' -sounds like I'm reading it off the handbook-) also got me and the other members tickets to tonight's Harlem Globetrotters game.

Coincidence? I think not.

I was looking forward to this for week's and after eating out with my dad (and encountering a semi-senile old lady, but that's another story) I got home around 5 and changed out of my formal wear.

We had to leave around 6 pm. (well me and the other 'Digital Connectors, the game didn't start until 7:30 and my older brother comes back from UC Davis at around 6:30 by train; all according to plan :D)

The tickets for DC -digital connectors-, were for one of those cool V.I.P rooms with the box and couches. We sat a bit above the regular stadium -cough- commoners -cough- but still had a great view :D

But the tickets my family had were the commoner seats. I saw them from my throne seat.

(And yes, I cracked that commoner joke all evening)

It ended at around 10 pm (Ha! My day started at 10 and ended at 10 funny.)

I got autographs with the team and some pictures!

All in all, it was an extremely fun/busy/important/crazy day.

And if this post doesn't make any sense... blame it on the sugar and that fact that's 11:30 while I write this...

I might post this later. Toodles!

Tuesday, January 12, 2010


Okay I'm studying right now (and reading blogger) but this is for GTFrenzy


I haven't been able to for a couple weeks now, and I thought it'd get fixed but it didn't.

And I don't know any other way to contact you ._.


Monday, January 11, 2010

Grr to this week, GRR

January 11, 2010

This week is finals week!

-crickets chirping-

Yeah, I don't have much enthusiasm either.


I have my 1st period final, AP U.S History tomorrow (2 hours stuck in a classroom -.-)

then my 2nd period Physiology and 3rd period French is on Wednesday

4th period Ap English and 5th period Drama (we're doing a skit) on Thursday

And HORRIBLE MATH ANALYSIS ON FRIDAY T______T <-- that's a sad face

Due to the stupidness of this week, I shall be off blogger, studying late into the night and generally losing my mind :P

And uhh, I should be studying right now. It's nearly 7 pm and I haven't studied yet.

See, if I had learned how to make time move slowly, I could be wasting time and still get my work done.


Maybe the squirrels will take me in again.

Saturday, January 9, 2010

Shakin' and Rollin'

January 9th, 2010

Three times this week, there were earthquakes.

I only felt one of them and that was in the middle of class. It wasn't that bad, but it was a 4.2 or something.

Apparently today in Eureka, California (I don't live anywhere near there fortunately)

There was a 6.5 earthquake (keep in mind that Loma Prieta was a 6.9)

Holy sh-

Were all of these mini-quakes building up to this? Or is there something larger coming up?

Time to get my earthquake emergency kit together (if we still have it ...) and to remember that

"STOP, DROP AND ROLL" is for fires only.

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Behind the Wheel

So yesterday, after being picked up at school by my dad, we went out to eat- a weekly ritual.

While driving home, I asked him if he'd ever let me 'test out' the car in an empty parking lot- like he had done with my older brother a couple years ago.

"Sure why not?"

I was psyched out you guys. I'm of age to get my driver's license, but I'm so lazy, I haven't even gotten my Permit yet!

So we drove to the movie theaters/flea market, it was a monday afternoon- totally dead.

Along the way he was showing me how to use only one foot for both the gas and brakes and to gently press the brakes.

When we finally got there, my heart started beating overtime

I was trying to not get worked up over nothing

*flash of the car turning over*

My dad noticed and told me to "Calm down, if you feel confident, you'll do well."

Even if it was just a test drive.

We both got out of the car and switched seats.

Just feeling the steering wheels in between my hands felt empowering.

And when I let go of the breaks and was going at a very slow (not when you're the one driving) 10 miles per hour, I felt a need for speed.

I learned how to turn (I hit the gas when turning and my dad nearly jumped out of his seat, "The car can turn over!" SEE MY FEARS ARE CONFIRMED) and park.

The fastest I went was 25 miles per hour (hehe I'm the DareDevil!)

It was exhilarating ^_^

Which makes me all the more determined to get my Permit this month and insha'Allah, be driving by the summer.

Wish me luck :P (including on my Finals, next week, so no posting at all next week)

Sunday, January 3, 2010

Bleaching creams and the bigger issue

(Honestly, I don't know if I can express myself eloquently enough or if I can adequately articulate my thoughts and emotions, but here goes nothing)

Often times, when I see a post or an article on the 'HORROR' of bleaching creams, it usually goes on about how 'bad' and damaging it is and how we should all 'love' the skin we're in.

But it never goes down to the deeper issue, to the
internalized issue.

If it's so bad, why does it make such a bundle every year in third worlds countries? (Bringing in $140 million yearly)

Why don't we see it for what it really is?

This unholy obsession with fairness, white skin, is damaging not only to our self-esteems but on our whole perception of race.

Who gets put onto a pedestal because of this? And why?

Internalized and systematic racism is everywhere and is evident in the boom of 'Fair and Lovely' crap.

It affects every person of color because of the perceived superiority of white people and those 'blessed' with fairness (although they are nothing compared to white people).

Personal experience- I grew up seeing my mother touted for her light skin in comparison with her other sisters. I was lighter than my own sister, but could never compare to my cousins. This led to summers spent mainly inside in order to avoid the 'darkening' rays of the sun and a very low self-esteem. Whenever I did venture outside, I would go into shady areas and if I did happen to come home a bit darker, I would be my harshest critic. One of my aunts gave me a bleaching cream that I would use sometimes, to the point of becoming obsessed with the color of my skin. But it'd never be enough. I would never look like those girls on the cover of my Seventeen magazine. Now, don't pity me. I was foolish. I was subtly (my aunt would recommend me to use the cream in order to 'even out' my skin tone) led to believe that my skin color was inferior to my lighter cousins who were also told to use the cream. And this isn't even about my aunt, who is a good-hearted person, but what she was also led to believe as child. This feeling of unworthiness was internalized as child as my parents grew up in Africa. They went to missionary schools filled with white nuns and teachers who taught them English and made the connection that white=good.

Although they didn't notice it at first, this reverence for white people and their skin color is rampant in many third world countries.

-composes self-

It's stupid ads like this that reinforce such ideals although an argument can be said that along with the post-colonial effects, such views could be stem from the culture.

From society upholding such damaging views. Although it is not limited to India, of course.

Can I be frank here?

We need to get a grip on ourselves and work hard towards dismantling the perception of white equaling goodness and beauty. To stop wasting our money on half-assed creams and staying indoors but traveling by night.

The world is not post-racial, meaning we still have a long ways to go until such stupid perceptions and views are gone and creams such as Fair and Lovely are banned.

I love my skin color and admit that I compare my face with that of my arms, my arms are covered all the time outside the house.
Even the word 'fair' bothers me.
What's fair about being prized while anyone darker is rejected?

I guess what I'm trying to get at in this entire ramble is that racism is still a big issue and one way I'm choosing to retaliate is racism in the form of bleaching creams.

Thank you and have a nice day.

Saturday, January 2, 2010

Random but Awesome

Today's date


is a palindrome

which means if you write it back words


It's the same thing!


And that is today's random update

Friday, January 1, 2010

Ringing in the New Year

Yea, kind of cliched.

But I hope all of you lovely folks had a good time with some loved ones, or fell asleep long before it reached midnight.

I spent the New Years at home, finishing up schoolwork (woo, wild right?)
and reading Jane Eyre (one more chapter left!)

As it is now the New Year, let's take a walk down memory lane through this past decade. Granted, I haven't been on this earth long and it's my first decade that I actually remember, but hey, it's still been eventful (at least what I thought was eventful).

Aunt's wedding, flower girl (I kid you not, this is about as eventful as that year gets)

- 9/11, being a little kid, I though the entire thing was an accident or some sick joke.


- Went on the Drop Zone for the first time and loved it forever! (Why is this significant? Well my brother was too scared until he was fifteen. Case closed)

Went to Atlanta, Georgia for a wedding (Flower girl? I was an old flower girl)

-Another Aunt's Wedding (Too old for flower girl, too young to be a bridesmaid)

Was super surprised by a cousin's visit and Aunt from 2004 had baby shower

Went to Minnesota for... yea another wedding (I was a guest this time)
-Became Vegetarian

Does Disneyland count? It counts for me. Last time I went was in 1997
-Started Wearing Hijab
-Parents made me stop being a vegetarian

Interned at City Hall for the Summer (Very tedious, but it looks good on apps :P)
-Started my blog (woot)

Won a college scholarship (which I don't get till I apply for schools -.-)
-Became a vegetarian (I'm old enough now!)
-Was held against my will and given the H1N1 vaccine (my mom shot death glares at me, I had to acquiesce! D:)

And umm, yea.

Jeez, looking back, this is basically my 'growing up' decade (extremely uneventful compared to people much older than me.

But I have fond memories of those times :D

Only I shall know how cute I looked in each of flowergirl/entourage dresses!!

And looking at this past year of the blog, things have really shot up! With 145 posts and 108 followers, there is just so much room for me to grow and learn and yadda yadda yadda, 'find myself through the blog' and 'reach my full potential.'

Like one of those 'banned words' this is truly a teachable moment. That through strength and perseverance, you too, can be as cool as I.



But the scary part is that the next decade holds multiple graduations and maybe even marriage ._.;

I'm getting old.

[P.S Maybe I should do a list of things I wish to achieve in this new decade... maybe not, the list will go on seeing as how I'll be in my mid-20s by the time this next decade rounds out... content yourselves with what I've written already!]

(P.P.S What did YOU do this New Years Eve? If celebrated it at all?)

Funeral,Birthday, and Wedding Announcements

Mission: ♥

-blows kisses to followers- Thank you for making me feel special and that my blog actually means something. Each and everyone of you has made a difference by keeping this blog alive.

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