Friday, April 24, 2009

Now aren't you glad we don't eat pork?

So for those of you who actually watch that one show called "The News", you've already heard, and probably feared for your life, about the "Swine Flu". But for those of you who happened to have been living under a rock these past 15 hours or so, allow me to explain :) (I don't think the smiley face is appropriate when explaining that there might be a deadly disease that can kill us all...but I wanted to seem friendly)

According to this Yahoo article, the swine flu is a "worrisome new virus — which combines genetic material from pigs, birds and humans in a way researchers have not seen before — also sickened at least eight people in Texas and California, though there have been no deaths in the U.S."

Okay I'll bold the part where it concerns me the most :
"worrisome new virus — which combines genetic material from pigs, birds and humans in a way researchers have not seen before — also sickened at least eight people in Texas and California, though there have been no deaths in the U.S."

DO YOU SEE THAT PEOPLE? DO YOU SEE THAT? California! CAALLLIIFFFOORRRNNIIAAA! Although the morbid but bright thought is that all the schools can be shut down for a while and I won't have to complete those stupid 'STAR' tests (thank you Mr. Bush) but I hope it won't get that serious, because it will sucks having to go to school during my precious summer vacation.

Oh, right the news, well anywho most people fear for the worst. (What the heck happened to optimism and 'don't worry we have it all contained so continue shopping with no cash since there's a recession and cooking barbecues with toxic carbon monoxide gas that will only worsen the global warming! -insert smiley face-):

"It might already be too late to contain the outbreak, a prominent U.S. pandemic flu expert said late Friday.Given how quickly flu can spread around the globe, if these are the first signs of a pandemic, then there are probably cases incubating around the world already, said Dr. Michael Osterholm at the University of Minnesota."

-insert a really loud expletive- DEAR LORD SAVE US ALL! I mean, I wouldn't hope for a pandemic/epidemic because that's sick and twisted... But I do want to know if this 'virus' causes zombies. Not that I would want to be one because they're the undead and what not but because this quiz on facebook said I have a 64% chance of a surviving a Zombie invasion so if it does happen, I know I can make it to the sequel.

If they start handing out 'How to save yourself from a zombie' pamphlets, look for a hijabi taking a box full. Oh and there really isn't much you can do since there isn't a vaccine and the best way (wtf?) to get it is to be in direct-contact with pigs (oh look this is where the title actually makes sense! But do the pigs have to be alive or what?) So wash your hands often, if you feel like you're having the flu, go to your doctor immediately and avoid unnecessary contact with hobos!

As for me, I'll be hiding out in my bunker and will emerge after Russia and U.S nuke each other out in which I will be living off the cockroaches that survived.... or until I feel the need to blog, toodles!


mawaddah said...

assalamualaikum:) yess im glad that we muslims are refrain from consuming those..eww! so proud to be muslim:)

Bengali Muslimah said...

It's amazing how Muslims are so much more knowledgeable about nature than anyone else. We knew pigs are sick. I mean, they have all these germs in their bodies which is bound to make the consumers of it, sick! and even die. Why we're not supposed to eat sick or dead animals.

Scientists keep announcing how the end of the world is so near and they try to narrow down it's signs. We Muslims know this! and have been knowing it. we've been living, knowing it. haha

ModestJustice said...

Mawaddah & Bengali Muslimah: Wa Alaikum salam :)
Oh yeah, we the best B) But it can also be spread from human contact, it's the like the flu, contagious. And I agree, the end of the world can happen anytime! Not just on 6-6-06 or Dec. 21 ,2012, lame.

Mona said...

Ha, you crack me up. Yea We are on the up and up man.

Stacy aka Fahiima said...

Pigs are also considered most compatible for tissue transplantation to humans, which probably increases the likelihood of creating mutant viruses like this. There are so many reasons not to eat pork. Of course both the Bible and Quran have taught us that for thousands of years.

Nur said...

Selamun aleykum
I'm very glad we dont eat pork, but unfortunately the "new" flu its passing from human to human like a normal very worried because i live in latinamerica and its easy to pass this kind of kinds from country to country....specially people of mexico...where is the flu focus point...
I hope Allah will protect us.

Hijabis On Ranting Tour. said...

HAAAAAAAAAA this was supposed to be a serious post but you made it all funny, I'm LMAO-ing HAHAHAHA
yallah, bless you :D

and yeah May Allah swt protect us all. look at how amazing it is to be Muslims and not be eating Pork Masha'Allah :)


ModestJustice said...

Mona: Fo shizzle

Stacy aka Fahiima: So many reasons yet it's never practiced.

Nur: Wa Alaikum Salam, Indeed it is, insha'allah may Allah swt protect us all and hopefully it'll be contained with a cure/vaccine.

A'qilah: Aww thanks sweetie :D We da best!

Anonymous said...

I thought that this was being spread human-to-human, not from eating it? Regardless, the Qur'an calls pork "foul", and all I have to say is: ewwwwwwwwwww

ModestJustice said...

Aynur: You're right on that :D

But either way we gotta avoid the meat so might as well gloat.


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