Now this is definitely a commercialized holiday. Besides the fact that it is unIslamic, why would you want to celebrate your loved ones only ONCE a year? Being the greedy person I secretly am, I refuse to spend $3 for a V-Day gram for my friends, but the real excuse I say is: "It's against my religion" They still buy me something but don't expect a rose back.
Shouldn't everyday be love day (or something to that effect)? Why conform with mainstream society on a pointless holiday. I mean, now I can't go to the mall because PDA is going to be everywhere! Darn you, you disgusting couples! I try not to gag while eating my popcorn in the theaters.
Heck, I even found this Anti-Valentine's day poem hilarious:
"Hearts and roses and kisses galore
What the hell is all that s**t for?
People get mushy and start acting queer.
It is definitely the most annoying day of the year".
Hahaha! But most people around the world are rejecting these kind of over-done, materialistic, lonely holidays.
Not to say I'm lonely
Or that I'm taken
Nor am I advertising my singleness on the web
Sorry, not looking.
Moving on, I propose we go back to the olden days. Where the guy and girl court with a chaperone. You know, the girl has her nicest bonnet on -but no sequins!- and they go for a nice carriage ride while the guy feeds the horse carrots. Maybe they'll go to a petting zoo afterwards! All the while being followed by their Mother, Father, Auntie and other irrelevant adults.
But no flirting!
It'll be like the haram police took over this holiday.
Anywho, time to throw away my gelatin-filled chocolate box and wilted rose.
Then I shall immerse myself into the 80s film "Pretty in Pink" while crying into a bucket of Ben & Jerry's ice cream and singing "My Heart will go on"
-Sarcasm, Modest Justice
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