Crosswalks are like Runways

I dropped journalism.

I actually dropped it a week ago.

It was awkward, it was tense, it was.....

You know how you get that feeling when you're the odd one out?

I always felt it in that class.

I knew absolutely no one, and although my 'love for writing' should have have fueled my insistence of staying and helping to diversify the news team (which was my ultimate goal) I hadn't thought of my classes all the way through.

I decided to not take a science this year, thereby making myself less 'competitive' (as my college errr guidance counselor puts it) for top UCs

At first, it didn't bother me because I had honors classes throughout high school, but then, I kept thinking about what would happen if I didn't get into a good university (state was and still isn't an option in my family or to me)

I'd disappoint myself and my family.

Why was I taking high classes? Why was I competing with my friends (albeit secretly) for the best grades and top classes?

Because I wanted to enter a good university, get a good career, get a better life than the ones my parent's had (their words) and be something.

To some people, this may seem a bit superficial (geez, giving up a writing class because you didn't fit in? taking a science class because you HAVE to get into the best college? grow up) but it matters to me.

This is my American dream that I want to realize (yes, that's a summer's worth of AP English reading talking right now) and fulfill, no matter the consequences.

I don't want to live in an apartment for the rest of my life.

I want to own a house and buy myself a car, and travel the world and swim with the sharks (okay not the last part, I'm terrified of sharks)

To me, having a career and the means to live comfortably equals success.

But as classic tragedies (Jay Gatsby, Willy Lowman anyone?) tell me, these are false fantasies.
That I shouldn't aspire to have abundant wealth because it's nothing.

It won't follow me to the grave, it won't guarantee happiness.

But it can buy things that give happiness, it can give a better life.

*********************************
So what class am I taking now?

I'm in Physiology learning about anatomy and dissection that can help in the medical field I might enter in.

Because I have to.

Because I want a better life.